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"You Deserve Better"
May. 13th, 2008 10:08 amYou know, I've heard this phrase, used it a few times myself, and now I find myself in a different frame of thought about it. I disagree with it completely.
Not as a platitude that is designed to help people overcome whatever is going on, or to encourage them to look beyond the hurt and pain of the current to something better. Both of these are valid hopes for those we love. It's the idea that we deserve...better.
There's a balance to things. If it was sunny all the time, we would not appreciate it. When it rains for a week, we are quite happy to see the sunshine, and it brightens out spirits. We cannot survive if everything is sunshine and roses. We need the heartache, we need the difficulties, we need the angst and hard decisions and scrapes of life.
Without a conflict you don't have a very interesting story.
So while I may wish you well, or hope for better things, I don't know that I would say you deserve better. You need the pain, and you need the pleasure. You may need a lesson there--I don't know. You might need the memories of good things to help you through an upcoming bad time, or need the bad memories to help you refrain from something worse. I don't know.
We say we have a "right" to things, that we "deserve" to be able to X or Y. Who gives that permission? The blessing that everything you want or think you need is rightfully yours? In this country we've forgotten a few things, like the fact that with privilege comes responsibility. I know I am guilty of not stepping up and being responsible many times in my life, and now that I have a little sponge soaking up how I act and interact with the world, I'm finding that I need to be brave and step up to that responsibility, for his sake. It doesn't give me more "privileges" or "rights" to do so. It simply means that I hold my part of the bargain with the nation and society I live in--that I take responsibility for myself, my actions, and do my part to make this a good place to live.
*looks at the box I'm suddenly on* Er...
So, while I want the absolute best for all of my friends, and my family even moreso, I also know Bad Stuff Happens. And we deal with it as best we can, recognizing the emotions for what they are, working with and through them as needed, and moving on. And a lot of the time, we can do that with the help of those who love us, our family, and our friends.
And on that note, you must know that I appreciate each and every one of my friends, for being there when I need you. I wish the best for all of us.
Not as a platitude that is designed to help people overcome whatever is going on, or to encourage them to look beyond the hurt and pain of the current to something better. Both of these are valid hopes for those we love. It's the idea that we deserve...better.
There's a balance to things. If it was sunny all the time, we would not appreciate it. When it rains for a week, we are quite happy to see the sunshine, and it brightens out spirits. We cannot survive if everything is sunshine and roses. We need the heartache, we need the difficulties, we need the angst and hard decisions and scrapes of life.
Without a conflict you don't have a very interesting story.
So while I may wish you well, or hope for better things, I don't know that I would say you deserve better. You need the pain, and you need the pleasure. You may need a lesson there--I don't know. You might need the memories of good things to help you through an upcoming bad time, or need the bad memories to help you refrain from something worse. I don't know.
We say we have a "right" to things, that we "deserve" to be able to X or Y. Who gives that permission? The blessing that everything you want or think you need is rightfully yours? In this country we've forgotten a few things, like the fact that with privilege comes responsibility. I know I am guilty of not stepping up and being responsible many times in my life, and now that I have a little sponge soaking up how I act and interact with the world, I'm finding that I need to be brave and step up to that responsibility, for his sake. It doesn't give me more "privileges" or "rights" to do so. It simply means that I hold my part of the bargain with the nation and society I live in--that I take responsibility for myself, my actions, and do my part to make this a good place to live.
*looks at the box I'm suddenly on* Er...
So, while I want the absolute best for all of my friends, and my family even moreso, I also know Bad Stuff Happens. And we deal with it as best we can, recognizing the emotions for what they are, working with and through them as needed, and moving on. And a lot of the time, we can do that with the help of those who love us, our family, and our friends.
And on that note, you must know that I appreciate each and every one of my friends, for being there when I need you. I wish the best for all of us.
